You know you're from Canada when...
Submitted by uberbelly on Fri, 2006-10-27 13:51.
You Know You're From Canada When...
You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk."
You understand the phrase, "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
You drink pop, not soda.
You know what a Mickey and 2-4 are.
You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars.
You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.
You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You brag to Americans that: , Jim Carrey, Mike Meyers, Tom Green, and many more are Canadians.
You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!
You know what a touque is.
You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee".
You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan."
You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada."
You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
"Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite than, "Huh?"
Winter. Whenever you want it. And then some.
There's German food, Italian food, Chinese food, Armenian food, American food, but NO Canadian food.
You like the Americans a little because they don't want Quebec either.
Contests run by anyone other than the government have "skill-testing questions" that winners must answer correctly before they can claim a prize. Canadian lottery winnings are non-taxable!
Everything is labelled in English and French.
Milk comes in plastic bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
You say 'aboot' not 'about'
There are more pages about Hockey than the news in the newspapers
You know what the plug at the front of the car is for
You can ALMOST understand what Jean Chrétien says
You know what are Tim Horton, Zellers and Canadian Tire
You have a canadian flag sewn on your backpack (unless you live in Québec)
You go overseas and insist that you are Canadian when people hear your accent to make sure they won't think you are American
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Canada.
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You Know You're From British Columbia When... |
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You know the provincial flower You consider that if it has no snow, it is not a real mountain. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Blendz, and Tim Horton's. You know how to pronounce Squamish, Osoyoos & Nanaimo. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean and Thai food. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation. You know that Dawson Creek is a town, not a TV show. You can point to at least two ski mountains, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover. You notice "the mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 5, but still wear your hiking boots and parka. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 10, but keep the socks on. You recognize the background shots in your favourite movies & TV shows. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones after such a long time. You use a down comforter in the summer. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations You've been to a deforestation protest If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash It's November, it's raining, but you're still wearing birkenstocks You go broke just paying rent. You don't own a heavy winter coat You can't figure out why Manitoba is considered part of Western Canada. You wouldn't be caught dead on Vancouver Island or Vancouver without your umbrella and plastic shoes. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from British Columbia. |
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You Know You're From Alberta When... |
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You hate those damned oil-pilfering people from Ontario!! "Vacation" means going to Calgary. Your friend tells you a joke about Toronto and you laugh. You measure distance in hours. You use a down comforter in the summer. You plan your financial future around bingo. You think of the major four food groups as steak, beer, fish and people from Saskatchewan. Ralph Klein is a family friend. You know what kind of snow throws best. It takes 3 hours to go to the mall for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Alberta. |
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